Little One | a father’s heart after miscarriage

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ultrasound 12/10/2015

Little One
Loved.
Wanted.
We had a place for you in our home.
Our hearts had already included you from the moment we discovered you were here.
Love has a way of expanding in an instant.

We thanked God for you. We prayed for you and blessed you.  So
why did the knitting together cease inside the secret place?

You are the song in my heart with lyrics unfinished.
Will you ever remain a beautiful poem with no resolving rhyme?

Your mother and I longed to hold you, little one carried but never held.
I wish you could know the cradling arms of your adoring mother.

I too wanted to hold you, but I must somehow be satisfied to hold you as I hold your mother.

Your mothers eyes trade back and forth an overflow of tears.
They well up and spill over by their own will.
They spill over from the waves of pain in her heart and soul as she thinks of losing you.

I have tried to form the words that will help your “big” little brothers and sisters understand, but how do you explain in words a mystery as big as the universe?

I saw the resonating images of you today.
Is it strange for me to say I’m proud of you?  I am.
I’m glad you came. I want you to know that our thirteen weeks with you mattered and marked us forever.

Little one.
You were made for Heaven.
The Kingdom of Heaven is experienced best by those who enter it small like you.

I am so sad to lose you and to have never called your name, but I am happy to know that you have been named by Jesus.  He knows you and calls you by name.
My only joy is to imagine how your Grandmother Ruby is proudly strolling you around the streets of Heaven introducing you to all of the men and women of Faith who inspired us to believe that God is love, Jesus is real, and that through his resurrection, death isn’t final.

 

“Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”
~ Matthew 19:14~

8 thoughts on “Little One | a father’s heart after miscarriage

  1. Permalink  ⋅ Reply

    Chad Hair

    January 23, 2016 at 2:56pm

    My heart is sad because I shared in your joy. I’m sorry to not be able to be this little one’s Uncle Chad here in this place but I know I will in heaven.

  2. Permalink  ⋅ Reply

    valerie krygsheld

    January 23, 2016 at 7:52pm

    Beautiful and so heartfelt. You have our deepest sympathy in the loss of your baby.

    • Permalink  ⋅ Reply

      Todd Hair

      January 25, 2016 at 9:48pm

      Thanks for your gift of sympathy toward us Valerie. God Bless, ~ Todd and Tami

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    Bobbette Williams

    January 23, 2016 at 8:57pm

    WOW , Todd that was SO beautiful. You put into words exactly what each of us has felt during a miscarriage. I THANK YOU for those words. And to KNOW we will see the little ones we didn’t get to hold and raise up.

    • Permalink  ⋅ Reply

      Todd Hair

      January 25, 2016 at 9:32pm

      Bobbette, I’m sad that we have this pain in common. I appreciate your kind words. Thank you.

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    Anita Schwartz

    January 24, 2016 at 12:45am

    A poem so poignant it brought tears to my eyes remembering the little one that I carried but never held. My prayers and thoughts are with you all as you continue on this journey of life. The trials that we will not understand until we meet our Maker will mark us for the rest of our Earthly time. Peace and rest.

    ~anita

    • Permalink  ⋅ Reply

      Todd Hair

      January 25, 2016 at 9:30pm

      Anita, Thank you for your prayer and your give of encouragement. Your friends, ~ Todd & Tami

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    elizabeth cox

    January 26, 2016 at 7:33pm

    This poem broke my heart with its content and the exquisite wording of your family’s loss. The heart aches so long after a loss such as this. But God in Heaven reigns in glory and through the gift of his Son, you will be reunited…this we know and believe..
    Bless you all..

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